Rendezvous with the Supremo

(originally posted by me in http://mythoughtsarehazy.blogspot.com)

Years long of suffering and longing to be someone, a famous someone in this world. A Game of Fame with all required health and wealth. Neither reached the destination nor pulled back. It was in this condition my health broke up a year back. Days and Months of hospitalization never let me down. Series of seizures, motionless paralyzed left side for months, intolerable pain, high level mental depression all these symptoms which are there yet didn’t made me feel lowered. As a human I must suffer pain but what I wanted to know is the cause. Even in my deep depression I was in an inner search to find the answer “Why this happened? What wrong I did?” These are but two questions from many that arouse from me. I used my days to put those interrogations to the almighty himself. Sometimes subliminal answers which mostly I will forget. Though hundreds of questions were put forth the peak points of my rendezvous with the supremo goes on like this.

Me: Why my Father this condition to me? Is it because I have sinned?

God: What do you name as sin my son? I have given the word to you. The Cosmic Laws. It is the law of Cause and Effect. Whatever you suffer happiness or sorrow is the effect of what you have done. Your infirmities led and yet lead to your trouble. When your analysis of anything under the sky becomes wrong and when you do something which don’t suit them, in turn you suffer. Though it may be whatever level of good you have done. This applies to you too. If you accept something which you can’t then it causes pain for the others who did good to you. In life there are mostly blunders only which can be rectified by realization. When one does the same blunder even after realization then it is called the actual sin. Do you mind doing the same after realization?

Me: No. I won’t. Father but almost every individual I met in my life have cheated me in one or other way. Does it mean I am not fit to live?

God: Don’t you realize that you are living at my will. Not anyone I created. Individuals are subject to change and they have an end. Neither do I change nor I have an end. I don’t have a beginning or an end. Whatever ends in me, begins in me again in another form. It is me whom you have to rely. When you realize this truth will you bother about why to live or not?

Me: No my father. But there are people who forget their potential and what you want them to do. They live in pleasure. But I live in agony and pain. What kind of discrimination is this Father?

God: Discrimination is Human activity. Neither do I condemn people nor do I distinguish them. But have you thought why this agony for you. Have you completed the task which I imposed on you? Life is vice versa. Pleasure will end soon with an arising Pain and vice versa. It is not permanent. A time will come when they realize what they have to do. But what matters is What have you done?

Me: Father in this drama I lost many things. Lots of Money which will take time to earn again. I lost relationships with people. I lost my strengths mentally and physically. I don’t understand the fact that my parents too are suffering because of me. Losses. Only Losses.

God: Loss is impermanent. Life is full of iniquities which has to be overcome. But cast your burden on me. Is that not my word? Don’t you realize than the materialistic wealth you lost these days, you have more valuable thing, knowledge I gave you. The knowledge of realization of life. The knowledge which can change humans to humans I wanted them to be. Son you have been true to me. So will be I. When you cast your burdens on me I will take care of it. I promise you will be rewarded highly in all means. Not only you but also those who are near and dear to you.

Me: But Father I tried to impart the gift of knowledge you have given to me. Is that wrong?

God: No. Not exactly. But if you want to reap the fruit as soon as you sow. It is impossible. As I said pain and pleasure is not permanent. They will get their turn too. A time will arise when they realise the true words from you. But my kind advice to you my son, next time when you sow check whether the soil is capable to accept it or what. It will benefit you as soon as possible.

Me: Yes My Father. This is what the mistake I’ve done. I feel my years in this precious life is wasted?

God: How do you say that it is wasted. Don’t you always talk about the same cosmic law which says “Not even a thought is wasted in this world”. Why don’t you take this as a time for your self realization? Realization of Me in You. A course period you learnt life thoroughly. If you don’t have this waste of time do you think you will take time to talk with me? Answers are only for those who seek. Feel what you benefitted out of this agony. Now take time to think how to spread this word.

Me: I am sorry Father. I failed in that. I failed you too!!

God: Oh my son. You are in Me and I am in You. How come you are failing me and I am failing you. If you are failed, then it is my failure too. Goodness is all I want. Realize this is not the end. It is just the beginning.

Me:Now tell me Father. What you want me to do?

God: Didn’t I already said what you have to do. Do the same what you were doing but this time for the needy. Answer only to those who seek. Find out those real seekers. Find what you have realized in your life. Spread it to them. I don’t ask you to be another prophet. But I ask you to be the human I wanted you to be. Don’t be afraid of those who are against you. Those who are incenced against you will be shattered into pieces. Because you are my son. Make other people act like human I wanted them to be. As I said already, you will be highly rewarded. Go search for the needy. I am sure you will have them. Take steps for that. Your quest is something different than that from others. Talk what you have experienced. Stress what you learnt. Mind it will be I who is speaking through you, because you are spreading my will. Leave those who are gone. Because your duty is accomplished with them and then it is theirs to abide. I am waiting for them.

I am happy to receive these answers from the Eternal Father. I feel a very clear path is laid in front of me to Travel. Now I am preparing myself packing my bags to this eternal journey.